To Whom It May Concern

**DISCLAIMER: This post does not mention any names even though it is very clear who it is about. IF you comment on this post, please do not mention actual names or your comment will have to be deleted. Post DOES contain cuss words, and the post is not nice…at all. If you don’t like reading about not nice things…please skip it. Thanks! ~Management~***

To Whom It May Concern:

Rarely do I ever say that I hate anyone. But you…you come really close to the number one spot of People I Loathe. I doubt you’ll ever read this, but just in case you do…I have a few things I’d love to say to you that I would also love the world to read.

You are a piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe. It isn’t fair that my mother is dead, and you are living with your faux family in the house that SHE built from the ground up. My mother loved that house. She loved picking out every aspect of what would surround her in her living space. But instead of her being there…your skank of a new wife is living in MY MOTHER’S HOUSE! Oh, but she’s not the only one who lives there, is she? Nope. You also have two children who live there with you. One of which was “created” while my mother was still living in HER house and still married to your cheating, lying ass.

Your daughter was in the NICU just a few floors down from where my mother lay in a hospital bed after having both breasts cut off to save her life. You did put on a good show. Looking back, I can see that now. I mean, I definitely believed you when we all went down to the cafeteria, and we ran into that “lab nurse”. I believed you when you told me that you knew her and was trying to get her to get Mom’s labs back sooner. I believed you when you claimed that “stress” made you introduce me as your “step”daughter…which you’d never EVER done before. It wasn’t until years later that I found out about the lies.

All. Those. Fucking. LIES!

It must’ve been exhausting…keeping up with them all. I wonder how that “lab nurse” felt as she went to check on your real daughter in NICU where she really worked as a nurse. I wonder if she whispered to her, “I’m sorry that your daddy has two families.” I wonder if she went home that night to her own husband and told him about the man with one family upstairs in the cancer ward dealing with his wife’s double mastectomy, and the other family downstairs in the NICU dealing with a premature baby girl. The man with two lives…that was you.

You thought Mom was going to die before she found out. You actually HOPED she would die so that you’d never have to face up to the consequences of your horrible actions. But she didn’t die…and that left you with a big problem, didn’t it? Instead, you treated her like shit and made her feel like the cancer made her “unlovable” until she finally gave up and left you. Wow…what a show you put on THEN! Crying hysterically…snotting all over yourself as we pulled out of the driveway. I actually felt SORRY for you then. It disgusts me to know that as we were driving away from you…talking of how much we’d miss being a family…you were already planning on when you’d be able to marry the Skank. You were already planning on when you could move your “real” daughter into my mother’s house.

I’ll never ever forget the day that I found out. I didn’t get the pleasure of finding out from you, or anyone else. Nope…I had to find out from your own brother’s MySpace page. Funny how things turn out. YOU were the one who taught me all about computers. YOU were the one who made me capable of being able to “snoop” on the computer and put pieces of information together. Funny that it’s exactly what you taught me that led me to the truth about you. I’ll never forget seeing the picture of a little girl who looked remarkably like you. I’ll never forget seeing the caption under the photo with the both of you that said, “Daddy”. I’ll never forget the picture of you pushing her on a swing set in what looked like my mother’s backyard. I’ll never forget the picture of you and your daughter…sitting on a hospital bed with some strange woman and a baby boy who had your first name as his middle name. It was like being punched in the gut over and over again…each punch coming swifter and harder. Mom was out of town when I found out. She wasn’t due back for several days. I wasn’t about to tell her over the phone when she was in a different state. I had to lie. I had to keep up your ugly ass lie for days. I remember spending hours just staring at the pictures. I remember pouring over the pictures running the math through my head. There was just no way that I could make it work in your favor. But I did try. I didn’t want to believe what I was seeing. I didn’t want to believe that the man that I grew to trust and love was playing me for a fool. I didn’t want to believe that you had made my mother feel like everything was her fault. I didn’t want to believe that you had made ME feel like I had destroyed our relationship. But there it was…staring me in the face. I’ll never forget when Mom got home. She knew something was wrong when I insisted on driving over to her house so quickly. I’ll never forget having to almost pull over several times on the way because I thought I was going to vomit. I’ll never forget the look on her beautiful face when I told her that you got remarried. She thought that was the worst of it. But it wasn’t. Even when I told her the whole truth…she didn’t believe me. She told me that I must be mistaken. I only wish that I had been. I was thankful that it was so long after she left that we found out. I’m not sure that she could’ve handled it then. I’m so happy that she was able to “trick” you into taking her phone call. I’m so happy that she was able to tell you what a piece of shit you really are. I laughed when she told me how you had cried. I laughed.

So…was it worth it? Are you happy now? I honestly hope not. You deserve nothing less than to be absolutely miserable. However, I am not completely cold-hearted. There are innocent children involved. And I hope for THEIR sake that you never betray them. I hope that they never see what you really are. And if they do…I can only hope that it doesn’t ruin the rest of their relationships in life. You’re probably saying to yourself, “But I would never abandon them. I would never leave them.” Yeah, well. You told me the same thing. You betrayed and abandoned your wife and so-called daughter at our greatest time of need. You threw us away and left us to believe that there was something wrong with US. When all along, YOU were exactly what was wrong. Did you think you were doing us a favor? Did you think that you were being a big man by telling my mom that she deserved better than you? Well, you were damn right about that. She deserved a hell of a lot better than you. It’s funny to me how a mistake can make so many things make sense. The “failed” counseling sessions. The “excessive crying”. Cutting off all communications with “seemingly” no reason. Yeah. It all makes sense now.

I never thought of you as anything less than my “Dad”. I didn’t call you “Dad” just because I wanted to call SOMEONE “Dad”. Sometimes, I still try to figure out what I did wrong. I wonder what I did or didn’t do to cause you to feel like I wasn’t enough of a daughter for you. I wonder sometimes what made you feel like you had to have a “mortality” check by making a child that was truly “yours”. Now that I know what you really are…now that I know what you’re capable of…I can honestly say that I’m glad that you’re not my father. I’d be ashamed to admit that you were. I can only hope that your “real” daughter never has to experience that pain and guilt. I hope she never finds out what pain was caused in order to bring her into this world. I hope she never finds out what you’re truly capable of. Not that you deserve that kindness. But she does.  

I did learn a few things from this situation. And not all of them are bad. I learned that my mother was stronger than I ever thought possible. You made the biggest mistake of your life, letting her go. She was the most amazing person I’ve ever known. I’m glad that you weren’t with her in the end. You weren’t worth her love…and she deserved a hell of a lot more than YOUR definition of love. I’ve learned that I have more capacity to trust and love than I thought I did. Although you may have crushed my heart and destroyed my spirit…it was only temporary. I know that I can trust the man I love. I also know that if he ever does betray that trust…I will survive because I’ve survived a lot worse. Don’t think that I’m giving you credit for anything that I’ve learned. You don’t deserve any of that. I CHOOSE how I feel. You do not have any control over my life, how I live it or how I feel. I refuse to give you that power over me.

The one thing I can hold on to is that you will be made to regret what you’ve done. It may not be tomorrow, or next week, or even in the next decade. All I know is that one day…it will come back to bite you in your lying ass. I hope that you never forget what you’ve done. I hope that every time you look at your daughter’s face, you remember the pain you caused. I hope that you live a very long life so that you will have that many more days to think about it. To think about what you could have had…and what you threw away.

Mom’s gone now. I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’re devastated. I want to punch you in your fucking face. You have no right to be devastated. YOU were the one who let HER go. YOU were the one who did the unthinkable. It is a testament to Mom’s amazing character and strength that one of her last wishes was for me to call you and tell you that she forgave you. I did what she asked. I called and told you that she forgave you. I spoke to you for less than a minute and hung up the phone. If I hadn’t hung up when I did…you would’ve gotten an earful that would’ve sounded a lot like this blog post. Personally, I don’t believe you deserve her forgiveness. You definitely don’t have mine. But I want the world to know how awful you are…and therefore how wonderful my MOTHER was for forgiving a piece of shit like you.

It’s not fair that such a wonderful person is gone from this earth. It’s not fair that she’s gone, and you’re still here…living your Brady Bunch life. Just remember…the Skank wrecked the home of a woman dying of cancer. I’d watch my back if I were you.

Sincerely,

The One Who Will NEVER Forget