Harry Potter's Penis

The other morning, I saw an interview with Daniel Radcliffe (again, for those who are clueless…this is the kid that plays Harry Potter) on some morning show. It’s weird. I watch HP every SINGLE night. Really. I’m not exaggerating about that whatsoever. So, here I am seeing over and over this little baby (I think of 11 as a baby, anyway) growing into basically…well, REALLY…a man. And here he was speaking as himself. Harry Potter is a man. So…of course, this led me to Google the dude. Shouldn’t have done that. Next thing I know there’s Harry Potter’s PENIS hanging out for all the world to see. Holy Shocker Of The Century Batman! Look, I don’t live under a rock. I know the kid decided to do a naked show on Broadway to get away from the Harry Potter “image”…but I sure didn’t want to be staring at his ding-a-ling when just the night before I’d seen him as an 11 year old kid. I seriously felt like some sick pedophile. But really…I couldn’t STOP LOOKING! It’s his PENIS! OUT THERE! For everyone to SEEEEEEE! It was like looking at the pictures of a train wreck. You don’t want to look…but you kind of have to. In order to protect my brain from completely spazzing out, my overly analyticalness (shut up, I know it’s not really a word) kicked in. I mean…here’s this guy who is BARELY an adult acting in an extremely deep and raw (yes, I know I shouldn’t say those words after talking about someone’s penis…just hang in there…get it? HANG in there?) Broadway role. Would he have done this role if he WEREN’T Harry Potter? This kid probably thought that the only way to get away from being type-cast as a nerdy wizard was to whip out his little wizard to shock the Harry Potter out of any casting director who happened to glance his way! So, I start looking through the MILLIONS of pictures of this guy. There are cameras following his EVERY move. There were all kinds of websites: What Daniel Radcliffe Likes to Eat! What Daniel Radcliffe Does on the Weekends! Daniel Radcliffe Caught Smoking Weed! Daniel Radcliffe Likes to Screw His Assistant Hairdresser! (Nope…not making that up!) Daniel Radcliffe Waving His “Magic Wand” All Over Broadway!! (Okay…so I made that one up.) Seriously…from the time he was ELEVEN! This poor kid has had NO childhood. Since the HP craze has been going strong for a decade…this kid hasn’t been able to take a CRAP without someone knowing about it. It makes me wonder about what the parents were thinking. Did they think that HP wouldn’t be as insane as it’s turned out to be? I can’t imagine ever wanting my child to never EVER have a life that was his own. And Daniel Radcliffe won’t ever have a life of his own. He’s done filming all the HP movies. But the very last one won’t be shown until next year. He’s doing all these “grown-up” roles to get away from HP. He supposedly plays a dad in one movie. There were several pictures of him celebrating his 21^st birthday in Russia or somewhere. He was clearly tanked, and the headlines were bashing him for it. Really?? Let the poor kid get toasted in peace already. And you know what? As much as it creeped me out…I say, let the guy wave his magic wand wherever he wants to. I mean, he kind of earned the right to put Mini-Potter on display if you ask me. The moral of this little story is: If a Hollywood agent comes around saying that your son would look great as a kid wizard…you may want to think about the fact that it could all lead to a decade of craziness…and his pecker being public. Just sayin’!